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Joke of the Day
"Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most? ""Rude""olph"
Next Joke
"If I got 50p for every time I failed a maths test I'd have about 6.30 by now"
"Why do cavemen drag their women by their hair? Because if you drag them by their feet their cunts fill up with mud."
"I'm 291 away from having 3000 followers on Twitter and 8 away from having 10 friends in real life."
"Things presently more popular than Congress: - shingles - those annoying stickers they put on apples - tofurkey - bone fractures - road ham"
"One. How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"I just received a discount offer for a brand new guitar... ... no strings attached!"
"I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores."
"If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."