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Joke of the Day

"Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I'm talking about you in particular."

"I was gonna tell a Holocaust joke but I ran out of gas."

"DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny."

"I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down...... inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."

"""People want to drink a panic attack."" -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy"

"A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number."

"Yesterday was kinda boring, I pretty much just hung around in my underwear all day... ...got kicked out of quite a few businesses though."

"Chuck Norris checks his facebook on a typewriter."

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese."

"My girlfriend burned our Hawaiian pizza today... I should have told her to put the oven on aloha setting."