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Joke of the Day

"Time flies like an arrow.. Fruit flies like a bananna"

"Dishwasher at work is like my girlfriend... It has everything it needs, but still beeps."

"Maybe just don't throw stones in any kind of house."

"How do you circumcise a whale? Fore-skin divers!"

"If I hear a bump in the night, I'm hoping my kids investigate and annoy any potential intruder until he leaves."

"Whenever I talk to a Mexican I feel like there's some kind of barrier between us It's about 4 ft high, made of wood and there's usually a cash register on top of it."

"Is there a site I can go to where I can write down stuff that happens to me? Like an electronic diary (eDiary)?"

"When I was born god asked me if I wanted a good memory or a huge wiener. I can't remember what I picked..."

"what is the funniest number? 69, cuz its also the name of a sex move."

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"