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Joke of the Day

"If a man named Terry Richards kills you because you insulted him; what did you die of? Dissing Terry."

"I don't get why I have to wash my hands after masterbating. It's not like my dick's been anywhere. Edit: yeah I suck at spelling. And it's supposed to mean I never have sex"

"Just been offered 8 legs of venison for $40 Is that too dear?"

"A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. 'I'm sorry sir' said a cashier 'the loan arranger is out to lunch.' 'Can I speak to Tonto then?' asked the man."

"To the man who just got naked in public I admire your balls"

"TIL That Oscar Pistorius once opened a pizza parlor only to have it fail and go bankrupt. The cause? His car was always breaking down, so OP never delivered."

"How do you stop a dog humping your leg? Suck it's dick."

"My magic watch say's you don't have any underwear on... Oh, you do?... It must be 15 minutes fast."

"How do you piss off a Texan? Cut Alaska in two and make Texas the third largest state!"

"Who Let The Dogs Out? Ramsay Bolton."