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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why I have to wash my hands after masterbating. It's not like my dick's been anywhere. Edit: yeah I suck at spelling. And it's supposed to mean I never have sex"

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None... he fell."

"How do you know princess diana had dandruff? Because her head and shoulders were on the dashboard."

"My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song ""Get Off the Stage or Die."" Elvis, maybe?"

"What do you call a rock climbing cow? A high steak situation"

"How long can an Owl live? 6 1/2 books..."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives."

"My ass is going through some serious shit right now The reverse is also true"

"Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal."

"Why did the baker have stinky hands? He kneaded a poo"