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Joke of the Day

"In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years"

"If I wake up early, it's only because there are a lot of things I want to eat that day."

"I like to nickname my penis Buzz Lightyear Because he likes to travel to the star and beyond"

"Sorry, there's a technical problem preventing me from RTing your tweets. Technically they're not funny."

"The Welsh are a very shy people They're really quite sheepish..."

"my wife made me a birthday cake She complained it didn't look anything like Nigella's at all. I told her that's OK, since she doesn't look anything like Nigella either."

"Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony? He was feeling a little horse."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Can't jelly my dick in your ass"

"I feel like a white girl prime number because I ALMOST literally can't even..."

"What's the difference between your mom and my computer? I can still turn your mom on."