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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a metrically inclined elderly assassin? A Killograndma."
Next Joke
"Everybody's getting Oreos with their Christmas cards this year. Related: Don't eat cookies while you're licking envelopes."
"Really want to try out a career in tracing, or something along those lines."
"It's a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge."
"Do know who the ultimate CrossFitter was? Jesus."
"What type of meat are your calves made of? Bologna."
"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar...... followed by batman!.... Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na"
"It's a dark stormy night. You're scared & alone. You hear a bump in the night. You jump! You scream! Then your cat comes in the house drunk."
"- What do you think about the coming battle General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it? - To find out who is the loser."
"What did the prostitute bring to the can drive? Her peas"