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Joke of the Day

"How much does a hipster weigh? An *instagram*"

"*Tries to warm up car* Car: I have a boyfriend"

"I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God."

"Twitter should allow you to select the font your tweets appear in; thus giving me yet another thing to judge you by."

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grraaaiinns"

"Can't whistle? That's okay! We prefer hummers anyway!"

"Pete and Repete walk into a bar... Pete and Repete walk into a bar, Pete walks out. Who is left?"

"Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund? Because he wanted to get-a-long-little-doggy"

"what do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off"

"It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor."