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Joke of the Day

"What color is a baby in the microwave? I wouldn't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate"

"How does Moses get his tea ready? Hebrews"

"your Lonely Score is the maximum number of forks a takeout place has given you for your single person food order. my score is 4"

"Do Wilma Flintstone got a booty? She yabba-dabba dooooooo!"

"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"

"So I was sitting on the toilet this morning... ...and I look over and see this huge spider. It scared the shit out of me."

"Why did the number 6 cry? Because 7 8 9. (7 ate 9)"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass"

"Two Charles Dickens bar drinks Charles Dickens Martini- olive or twist Charles Dickens Cider- usually a little tart"

"The people in the room next door are definitely just furiously making their bed. Nothing more. NOTHING MORE."