137173

Joke of the Day

"""Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!"" - people with stupid names"

"What is important in relationships? Reflexivity and transitivity."

"What do space-related scientists call themselves in Australia? Austronomers"

"Why do sorority girls travel in odd number packs? Because they can't even"

"You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week."

"What do the LAPD and computers have in common? They can both burn C.D's"

"I showed up to run a marathon, but realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. I decided to run anyway... ... I finished in 3^st"

"Why did the trio of Mexicans get arrested? Because they were trespassing!"

"Have you been injured in a car accident? call 555-bottom-feeders. We will do anything for money."

"What's the difference between broccoli and a booger ? little kids won't eat broccoli ."