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Joke of the Day
"What is important in relationships? Reflexivity and transitivity."
Next Joke
"If you post a selfie that says ""because some of you asked for a new one"" I want to see screenshots of where they said that."
"A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza."
"""My Heart Mustard Go On"" - Celine Dijon"
"Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger. But she was messin wit some pretty elaborate gold mining equipment down by the river bed today."
"If life hands you lemons, you are anthropomorphizing. In some way, you've handed those lemons to yourself."
"If tennis rules were chasing the ball and bringing it to your opponent without letting him have it, my dog would be the best in the world."
"Every restroom says gentleman on it...since I'm a degenerate asshole I've been pissing in the trash cans outsidee them."
"I recently adopted a highway, since I am unfortunately unable to have a biological highway"
"People accept that God exists & created the universe without evidence or proof but if you tell them Facebook is down they immediately check."