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Joke of the Day

"I showed up to run a marathon, but realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. I decided to run anyway... ... I finished in 3^st"

"How do men define a ""50/50"" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch."

"A japanese man was shouting jokes to his airplane window. When he noticed he wasn't getting laughs he thought... hm... tough cloud"

"The thing about human relationships is that one person can be so overcome by a moment while the other person is thinking about KFC..."

"Crazy ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog"

"I was so sad and crying when I lost my playstation 3 but unfortunately, there was nobody to console me!"

"""It's one of those new Hoverboards!"" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. ""Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"""

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."

"What do you call half a ginger? George."