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Joke of the Day

"Are you going to the homecoming? No sorry I cant, I'm going to be at home cumming"

"How do bored cows sound like? Meh"

"What does a leper say to a prostitute? Just leave it...ill be back tomorrow."

"A 1911 and a Glock walk into a bar.. The 1911 says to the Glock: ""Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"" The Glock says ""You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"""

"Congratulations to Snooki who gave birth today to a baby boy... 5 NJ High School rings, 2 condoms, and 12 press on nails."

"""Hey buddy, you wanna buy a harmonica?"" I opened my coat and got hit by a gust of wind, making the worst sound in the world"

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"A man walks up to god and asks him, ""Are you a ladies man?"" God replies: ""I'm a soul man."""

"I made a joke about a midget criminal running down the stairs. The punchline is a little condescending. Ba dum *tss*"

"Did you know you can catch a bullet... But only once"