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Joke of the Day

"I send flowers ""From Steve"" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn"

"Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock."

"Walked into the bathroom and it sounded like someone was powerlifting in one of the stalls. That, or an exorcism."

"Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen"

"What letter never satisfies it's wife? The quick E"

"What does a frying pan and anal sex have in common? They both brown your meat."

"What's the difference between one polar bear and 10 polar bears? 9 polar bears (joke on a mug at work. lame, ik)"

"Whats fat on the bottom, skinny on the top, and has ears? Mountains! ...what? You've never head of mountaineers?"

"Marriage is for men who miss staying with their parents."

"Sex is like Gardening. Sex is like gardening, old women do it alone while they think of their dead husbands. @johntole"