136885

Joke of the Day

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and another to hold the penis. ladder! I meant ladder."

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution."

"Who are worse than Hitler, Stalin and Mao combined? The mods of this subreddit."

"If an Astronaut Vomits in L.E.O. If an Astronaut vomits in L.E.O., what do you call the portion of the vomit closest to the Earth? The Ralph Nadir"

"I just found out my cousin and her husband are pregnant Everyone keeps saying they don't know the sex but I am pretty sure it wasn't anal"

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 10% off"

"If pizza places cold called people's homes and asked if they wanted to order a pizza, I guarantee you their business would triple."

"Me: One large buttery popcorn please! Him: Ma'am you have to buy a ticket to get into the movies... Me: One large buttery popcorn TO GO SIR"

"most cutting thing you can say is ""who's this clown?"" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns"

"Thinking it's a not a good thing when the pizza delivery guy knows my dog by name."