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Joke of the Day

"most cutting thing you can say is ""who's this clown?"" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns"

"Three Guys Walk Into A Bar The fourth guy ducks."

"What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up."

"What's the leader of north korea's wife wear when she's not in the mood? a Kimono"

"Where you do see yourself in five years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"The batteries on my camcorder died halfway through my wife's wedding speech. I'm never going to hear the end of it."

"The average person swallows over 4,000 spiders each year. More than that. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of spiders. It's crazy."

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""

"ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*"

"What the NSA say to NASA? You're a day late and a dolla short!"