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Joke of the Day

"People immediately behave better in traffic once they notice the Elf on the Shelf tied to my grille."

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"What is the most popular hacking tool preferred by hackers in Bangladesh? machetes"

"Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because it's dead."

"What do you call an all Sikh band? N'Singh."

"What did Donald Trump say to the guy who immolated himself in front of Trump tower? ""You're fired!"""

"I won't visit /r/aww Its nothing but kitty porn"

"""Do it!"" Nah, I don't wanna. ""Come on, man!"" No way. ""It'll be fun!"" I don't know... ""Do it for the Vine!"" Oh alright. *Hitler invades Poland*"

"Leo finally won an Oscar. His acting must have been a solid 5/7."

"What's the difference between a Mormon man and a Muslim man. A Mormon man gets 72 virgins and THEN kills himself."