34324

Joke of the Day

"Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because it's dead."

"You're only as good as your last tweet."

"Does the Five Second Rule apply to gravy?"

"What's the difference between a carpenter and a construction worker? 30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke."

"If I had a time machine I'd go back to Germany in 1933 and change my Facebook avatar to an anti-Nazi logo."

"Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they don't have 2 towers."

"My urologist is weird. I peed in a cup. He drank it and said, ""You're fine."" Then he paid me. Don't choose a doctor from Craigslist."

"Apparently ""if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly"" was not the tip this waitress was expecting."

"Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired."

"What's one definite outcome from a Drumpf Presidency? Four more years of great South Park!"