136435

Joke of the Day

"How does the Mexican national anthem start? Jose can you see....."

"It would be terrifying if Elizabeth I were alive today... ... Because she's dead. Note: Credit goes to my dryly-sarcastic history professor."

"I feel bad for kids who see toys on the television but can't order it cause their parents have to be over 18 to call.."

"Armed assault on the banter convention Shots fired."

"What are an idiot's last words? Hey, watch this."

"Life is like a dry handjob. Sometimes its painful sometimes its enjoyable most of the time its hard but mostly your just happy it keeps goin"

"*Friend is sinking in quicksand* Get help before I drown! *I start to run, stop, jog back to friend* Technically you're not drow- NATE!"

"Trump obviously has the support of the Freemasons He wants to build a wall, and do you know who gets paid to build walls? **MASONS!**"

"If she is married or has a boyfriend make sure she swallows the evidence."

"Do you know any bird that can write? Pen-guine."