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Joke of the Day

"Do you know any bird that can write? Pen-guine."

"mars: I'm wet.... NASA: I'm coming over!"

"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange. I declined because I have Stranger Things to watch."

"Donald Trump I was told this was a place to post jokes, and that's the best one I know."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was *in tents.*"

"I let people know that I'm no weirdo. I say ""I'm no weirdo!"" From that point forward, it's just a matter of keeping my mouth off their pets."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga..? POKER FACE ... BAHAHAHA!!!"

"My doctor told me I need more potassium in my diet And I said K."