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Joke of the Day

"I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down."

"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."

"Cop; Know why I pulled you over? Me; Because you got beat up in high school Cop;....... Me; Because you got beat up in high school, Sir?"

"I don't understand why people say they don't believe in sex before marriage... It's obviously sex after marriage that doesn't exist."

"I hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo."

"I just recently became a vegetarian. I quit meat cold tofu."

"*sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for."

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."

"What's a slutty witch's favorite holiday? Swalloween!"

"What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear? Claude"