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Joke of the Day

"The man who invented PIN numbers and ATM machines has died. May he RIP in peace."

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"

"Hey girl, are you calculus? Because you're hard to understand and seem pretty useless in the greater scope of my life goals."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? For being out standing in his field."

"What's the difference between your mom and the Empire State Building? Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building"

"What's the difference between a run-down bus stop and a big-breasted lobster? One is just a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean!"

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain."

"Why didn't the Romans try to kill Jesus after he rose from the dead? They were too afraid to double cross him."

"I like sleeping, it's like death without the commitment."

"You've wasted your time explaining sex to me I still don't get it."