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Joke of the Day

"There were two old men... That were sitting on their porch, when a dog comes up and starts licking his dick. One old man said, ""I wish I could do that "" Then the other said, ""that dog would bite you."""

Next Joke
 
"Pretty sure Tiger is wasting valuable babysitter fucking time with this press conference."
"I don't get why everybody hates on ISIS.... Their drug policy, for one, is incredibly progressive. Women get stoned legally over there all the time!"
"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."
"How many black metalheads does it take to change a light bulb? 100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better."
"My mom just replied to my text with ""K."" Whooooaaa busy lady, is there some emergency over on FarmVille?"
"Facebook, where a bathroom shot of a duckface is considered hot'"
"Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station! Authorities have nothing to go on."
"What goes around the world yet stays in the corner? Stamp"
"[The mid 20s catch up] ""What are you drinking, who you seeing?"" [The midlife catchup] ""Who's your therapist, what are you taking for it?"""