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Joke of the Day

"Pretty sure Tiger is wasting valuable babysitter fucking time with this press conference."

"""Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven and lost the use of your legs?""--bad pick-up line to use on a handicapped person"

"I finally decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to go as a French pancake chef; that'll really give people the crepes."

"Whats pink and smells awful? Your mums cunt lol"

"I have a Polish friend who does microphone tests for bands. I have a Czech one two. Czech one two. Czech one two."

"What's the heaviest soup? One ton soup."

"Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me? ""Nah"" *cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect* Cop: *wiping tears* I'm over it"

"I'm a janitor at MIT and i see some extremely hard ass equation on the chalk board. i quickly erase it because im not being paid to do math"

"These riots remind me of basketball There are always people stealing, but you can't win without shooting."

"What's more dangerous than being with a fool ? Fooling with a bee !"