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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why everybody hates on ISIS.... Their drug policy, for one, is incredibly progressive. Women get stoned legally over there all the time!"

"My GF said a small penis isn't really a problem for our relationship I still wish she didn't have one though :("

"A fish swam into a wall... and said ""dam!"""

"I'm really good at telling old jokes, and fixing fences... I guess I'm just good at reposting"

"When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up."

"Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution? It's fucking ancient."

"The Purge: American Cops For just 365 nights a year, murder is legal!"

"Note: When you cut jeans into shorts, remember to wear the top half, not the bottom half. lol. these denim calf warmers tickle my legs."

"Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas."

"[sees a kid at the park doing the pee pee dance] ""NO KID, WAIT- [it starts raining buckets of pee]"