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Joke of the Day

"She left me alone in the house with Cupcakes cooling. Rookie mistake."

"Holding a friend's phone for her. Just texted ""put a ring on it"" to five random male names. Stay tuned."

"Never trust an atom... They make up everything!"

"Why does Olaf have to be a snowMAN when he clearly has snow gender."

" And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court "

"How do you kill a circus clown ? You go for the juggler"

"What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WAAAAAATEEEEERRRR"

"The entire history of the universe could be seen as a slow growth, expansion and coalescence of consciousness, were it not for Sarah Palin."

"I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor... I still hate you."

"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph, because they're too short to be an ese"