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Joke of the Day

"Holding a friend's phone for her. Just texted ""put a ring on it"" to five random male names. Stay tuned."

"I have got the best business idea of 2013, I am going to start Facebook rehab centers throughout country."

"Me: We need some ham. Her: I just bought a pound of ham yesterday. Me: Are you going to judge me, or are you going to buy some ham?"

"Teacher- ""Are you chewing boy?!!..."" ""This is the worst blowjob i received all day"""

"Roses are brown... Violets are brown... Wait...Who shat in my garden?"

"What is the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest? A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13. This joke is all in good fun, sorry if anyone happens to be offended!"

"Tinder for dudes is mostly scrolling through the mini cards they hand you on a Las Vegas Blvd street corner"

"What do call an old man that asks questions? Pop Quiz"

"What is the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well for starters the flag is a big plus."

"Cans I work in a can recycling factory. My job is to crush cans. I don't enjoy it. It's soda pressing."