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Joke of the Day

"Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird"

"My penis is so big... the only relationships I can have are long distance"

"What's easier to pick up the heavier they get? Women"

"What did the Alabama sherriff call the black man who had been shot 15 times? The worst case of suicide he had ever seen."

"(TERRORIST WARNING) Why did the suicidal air go to the airport? So he could BLOW it up. Please don't hurt meh."

"Why was the Robot angry at the engineer? Because he screwed his wife!"

"Boss: How is the project coming along? Me:*closing browser of sick kick flip videos* Totally rad...icalizing our sales data analysis, Sir."

"People fear what they don't understand: Change Death 4th grade math word problems"

"Star Wars VII: the force awakens Star Wars VIII: the force goes out to play Star Wars IX: goodnight force"

"He died doing what he loved -- screaming for help and punching a bear."