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Joke of the Day

"*amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*"

"A bug is just a bug until you put one on someone's face."

"Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12."

"If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?"

"I had never woken up to a blowjob before That is the last time I sleep with my mouth open on the subway!"

"I hate the Blacks in my neighborhood. Mr. Black is a douche. Mrs. Black is a slut. And the kids are the worst."

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf Hitler have in common? They both died before finishing a race."

"You're going to regret thinking of this. Game!"

"What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room? A full set of teeth."

"My friend was arrested after carving equations into blocks of quartz He was charged with manufacture of crystal math"