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Joke of the Day
"Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed? She sings with the other hand."
Next Joke
"What's Canada's favorite board game? Sorry"
"My room is getting so messy ...that F.C. Barcelona is trying to recruit it"
"Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever."
"How do bros want their drinks? NOICE!!!!"
"What do you call a pile of kittens? A Meow-tain"
"*sings Hakuna Matata during your meltdown*"
"What do you call a really fast seamstress? Tailor Swift"
"What do you call a slutty duck that does drugs? A quack whore."
"I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head."