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Joke of the Day

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"3... 2... 1... sandwich? You fool! You've pressed the LUNCH button, not the LAUNCH button!"

"Have you heard of the musical condoms? They started a rubber band."

"*takes construction hat to vet* Please help. My turtle hasn't moved in 8 years."

"What do you call a seizure you have while mining? An ore spasm."

"Why can't you find any painkillers in the jungle? Because the Paracetomol"

"I told my doctor I abused drugs last night. Doctor:how? me: I punched my bottle of vicodin"

"Worst trigonometry joke I know. Actually, I won't bother telling it, it's too obtuse."

"Why do ghosts never age? They use Bootox."

"Do you think Hillary Clinton wants to become President so that.. she can get munched out by an intern and cum on his dress?"