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Joke of the Day

"ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents."

"The only reason I've been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill."

"Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say ""you suck"" so the target still gets the message"

"The FCC requires all rock stations to hire a woman named Kat."

"What do you call a White Crocodile? A Crocasian"

"I recently asked a serial-killer/serial-rapist/psychopath what she's doing. She replied, ""Good."""

"What happened when The Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye kicked his ass!"

"Why is it so hard to get a mortgage in Columbia SC? All the homes there are underwater"

"I'm no political expert, but as far as I can tell the Republican strategy seems to be: ""oh you think BUSH was terrible?"""

"[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer."