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Joke of the Day
"I recently asked a serial-killer/serial-rapist/psychopath what she's doing. She replied, ""Good."""
Next Joke
"I'm getting engaged next month. Not because I'm in love but because it's gonna look dope on Instagram."
"When my gang enters a brawl, we take small steps forward while snapping in unison. Jeff does a flip off a wall too. Its pretty intimidating."
"a bird doesnt sing becuase it has an answer. it sings becuase birds are jerks who like to hear the sound of their own voice"
"Things I Suck At: 1. straws, ha ha jk lol 2. Parallel parking, no seriously, I'm really terrible at this 3. straws, haha same joke as before"
"I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right"
"Guys my calendar is really sick.. I think its days are numbered."
"I wish I could find a girl that loved me as much as she loves her hair."
"Sometimes when your sad, no one cares. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees. Sometimes when you leave no one notices. But fart just one time."
"The secret service found a dildo in the Oval Office Signing off on another executive order."