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Joke of the Day
"Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?"
Next Joke
"I was gonna make a joke about Alzheimers.. ..but I forgot what it was."
"I tried making jokes about fat people ... but none of them worked out."
"Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues"
"Why is a T-rex so angry? He can't masturbate."
"[at my comedy central roast after every joke] That's not true"
"I cut my finger chopping cheese... I think that I may have grater problems."
"Where do the Sith shop? At the Darth Maul. :3"
"*phone rings* SATAN: Hey I bought your soul on Craigslist last week? ME: No returns SATAN: Please. It's making me sad"
"What do you call a condom within a condom? Contraception."