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Joke of the Day
"Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?"
Next Joke
"Spike from the Land Before Time movies is the best character ever! Literally in the first 30 seconds after hatching he yawns, eats an entire bush, and takes a nap, he's like me on valentines day."
"2 peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted"
"What's the difference between a racist joke and a sexist joke? Racist jokes are offensive."
"Son, what was the name of the german guy that hides my stuff? Alzheimer grampa Alzheimer"
"A healthy man has a thousand wishes and a sick person only one... ... to win the election"
"""We're sorry that password won't work we require mixed case numbers symbols and a small goat sacrifice."""
"Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey? He kept getting nailed to the boards."
"I ran a marathon! 1 mile a day for 26 days boo ya."
"Shoepidity... wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good."