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Joke of the Day
"I tried making jokes about fat people ... but none of them worked out."
Next Joke
"What happened to the adhesive suicide bomber? He glue up."
"The Brazil v Germany game last night... ...the most embarrassing semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain with the wife."
"My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings."
"Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg out, Put -spider hokey pokey"
"What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell? Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame"
"A jogger just yelled at me for accidentally blowing pot smoke in his face. So I yelled at him for making me feel fat."
"I hired a personal trainer and my first 2 hour-long sessions were just him teaching me how to properly cut the sleeves off my t-shirts"
"A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do."
"Best Boss to Employee Convo Boss: Have you typed the paper I needed yet? Employee: I'm sorry, I don't know how to type paper. Boss: I'll help you, but the paper might be pink."