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Joke of the Day
"[at my comedy central roast after every joke] That's not true"
Next Joke
"My doctor told me to stop drinking today...then he told me to stop laughing."
"Why is ship tapered Why is shit tapered? So you're asshole doesn't slam shut. (I was watching my dog take a dump yesterday and this old joke came to mind)"
"Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called ""Parking Violation""."
"Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant? He ordered some NaCl."
"My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else."
"""How did your *looks down at notes scribbled on hand* favorite sports team do in their *looks down again* sporting contest today?"""
"I used to complain about the bright car lights in my rear view mirror I removed it awhile ago, and haven't looked back since."
"Two men walk into a bar.. The first one orders H^2 O And the second orders H^2 O too. The second man dies."
"The Guyz l Shadowrun Returns l Razor Edge ep 3 l HE'S STILL THERE Hi, I'm Karmit, and I play video games...yeah... Well that's all I can really say. Just want to advertise stuff so...yeah...america..."