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Joke of the Day

"Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues"

"what do you call a baby donkey in spanish? a burrito."

"Threesome So, I finally talked my wife into having a threesome... So she said the only condition is that she pick the other girl... So I told her no... I will pick both of them.."

"Why girls want to be mermaids 1. No pants 2. No periods 3. Perfect hair 4. You get to lure men to their deaths 5. Free clam bra"

"A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally."

"WIFE: This is dumb. DAUGHTER: This is so stupid. ME: This is getting out of hand! THIS: [leaping out of my palm] I HATE YOU GUYS I'M LEAVING"

"Me: are you married? Him: separated Me: your wife know about that?"

"I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator. It just seems unbereaveable to me."

"If you ever Google ""Gary Oldman"" For fuck sakes don't forget the ""r"" in Gary!!!"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind."