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Joke of the Day

"Never eat ice cream while chatting online. Sister: why are you typing so slowly Me: well my other hands busy. She hasnt replied yet."

"What do you call the mineral found in teeth and tooth enamel? Apatite."

"The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it."

"Whats the last thing that goes through a fly's brain before it hits my car windshield? Its arse."

"My washing machine is racist.. It only likes whites with whites and colors w colors.."

"[grocery store with 2yo] Cashier: your son is so cute. What do you want to have next? Me: a vasectomy"

"Husband said our electricity bills are too high need to cut back so I asked him to move."

"Wanted to make a voldemort joke but this whole subreddit nose it"

"How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe."

"What's the difference between incest porn and regular porn? The mute button."