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Joke of the Day

"[grocery store with 2yo] Cashier: your son is so cute. What do you want to have next? Me: a vasectomy"

"Drink triple. See double. Act single."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ? Cork and beans !"

"what's the most impressive thing about tom cruise performing his own stunts? he does it in heels"

"Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant's milk. Whose baby was it? The elephant's!"

"What is the first name of Mr Rafone? Mike."

"Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean."

"What do you call a black woman who has had five abortions? A crime fighter."

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"Patient To Doctor Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."