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Joke of the Day
"Recently discovered that my local coffee house sells my favorite soup... MISO HAPPY! :D"
Next Joke
"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? He'll do it **Juan by Juan.** (So corny, IK.)"
"Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food."
"I've got washboard abs. As soon as I can find someone with clay-jug abs and someone with jews-harp abs, we can get started on our old-timey-hobo-band abs."
"GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face"
"how do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."
"Murderman V. Another Murderman: Dawn of Murdering #BatmanvSuperman"
"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in dirt and then cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double crosser!"
"I dated a girl with a lazy eye once. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."
"If girls were dinosaurs they'd be dramasaurus."