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Joke of the Day

"Did you read the story about the man who dropped nitroglycerin? It had quite the explosive conclusion."

"Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results."

"Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body? Dumbbelldor."

"Mew and Mewtwo are both on a slanted roof. Who falls first? Neither. They can both levitate."

"Wlkom I happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned."

"My rap name is ""NO PLANZ."""

"So I'm not showing up to any Halloween parties this year... I'll be telling everyone I'm Malaysia Airlines Flight 370."

"How can you tell if a girl is too young for you? You need to make the airplane sound to put your cock in her mouth. (From one of my favorite stand-ups, Jimmy Carr!)"

"Will you marry me? 'Is a marriage proposal' Will, you, Mary, me? 'A foursome inquiry'"