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Joke of the Day

"If you don't know what introspection is... You need to take a long, hard look at yourself Ian Smith"

"*spelling bee* ""Your word is disaster."" ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" ""That outfit you're wearing looks like a natural disaster."""

"""Dad, are you afraid of ghosts?"" ""Only when I think of all the people who've died & how they must have us seriously outnumbered...G'night!"""

"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."

"When I was 16 years old, the morning of my birthday, my parents tried to surprise me with a car, but they missed."

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? For Drizzle."

"Dyslexic man So a dyslexic man walks into a bra."

"I suspect the number 200 sometimes impersonates the word ZOO."

"What's the name of the car of a hipster batman? Tumblr."

"Dogs are great for meeting girls. Pack of dogs attack a girl she's gonna need to go to a hospital. Who's gonna drive her? That's right. You."