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Joke of the Day

"Two guys were walking down the street. . . One guy turns into a building, the other one goes, ""Oh my God! How the fuck did you do that?!"""

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"A bald guy in a turtleneck sweater looks 97% like a roll-on deodorant."
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"Why do women love Satan? He's down to Earth."
"I was talking to Marcel Marceau the other day. You know what he said? Nothing he's dead"
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"My wife sent me to the shop to buy a butternut squash then got annoyed when I came back with three items. (credit: Sean Lock)"
"[I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What's this? ME: That's a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people"