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Joke of the Day

"Two guys were walking down the street. . . One guy turns into a building, the other one goes, ""Oh my God! How the fuck did you do that?!"""

"When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house."

"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""

"Why is the new OS from Microsoft called Windows 10? Because 7 ate 9."

"I don't like how girls always want the guy to make the first move. Sometimes I just want to play as black."

"What's the difference between minesweeper and my ex-wife? I've never beaten minesweeper"

"What do you call a black man who fly's a plane? A pilot, you racist."

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, its a hardware problem"

"A wolf goes costume shopping... He found a lamb costume on the clearance rack. But it still wasn't sheep enough for him."

"I imagine Hell is just a place where you watch a montage of people's hands you've shook that didn't wash them after they used the bathroom."