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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""

"How many punks does it take to change a light bulb? None. Punks never changed anything."

"No one laughed at my geography joke I guess you had to be there."

"I had a huge home party last night and I was unpleasantly woken up by a surprise blow job. Next time I'll sleep with my mouth closed."

"[day 1] hello, world [day 2] bit less wobbly today [day 7] making other deer friends. getting funny looks tho [day 26] turns out i'm a hippo"

"If a duck and a elephant were to vote They'd vote for donald trunk"

"Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom."

"Judge: Sir, need I remind you that you are under oath? Goldfish defendant: Yes."

"Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said ""Honk if you love Jesus!"" That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus."

"Greek yogurt Its just not as rich as it was before"