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Joke of the Day

"A wolf goes costume shopping... He found a lamb costume on the clearance rack. But it still wasn't sheep enough for him."

"Roses are red Violets are Glorious Don't play hide and go seek with Oscar Pistorius."

"Why didn't The African go to the classical music event? He was a baroque ass' negro"

"If your name is Nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy."

"She has a coy pond. All the pretty fish swim away when you try to feed them."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A fish."

"What did Ahab say when Moby Dick raised his tail? Whale shit!"

"I want to get married just so I can throw my wedding ring in anger. I bet it's a lot cooler than aggressively untying a friendship bracelet."

"Whenever a guy named Stephen tells me what to do, I like to yell, ""you're not my real hen!"" and run away..."

"If I was a cop, I would write the word 'Influence' on a bridge, and pull over anyone that drives under it."