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Joke of the Day

"I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season."

"Yo momma is so fat... ...She was diagnosed with a flesh-eating virus and they gave her 15 years to live."

"Why does Noddy wear a giant red hat with a yellow tinkling bell on the end of it? Because he's a cunt."

"I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user."

"What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? ""You're going to have to be a little patient"""

"Never Forget Girl: Can you finger me? Boy: Sure. Girl: Oh yeah that feels good. --------- 1 Day Later ----------- Girl: I'm pregnant. Boy: Dammit I forgot to wash my hands."

"Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she's probably thick and tired of it!"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? The P. If the P was taken away, he would be irate"

"How do Ghosts lay foundations? With a spirit level!"

"Guess who opened for Justin Bieber... The teenage girls."