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Joke of the Day

"What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? ""You're going to have to be a little patient"""

"When you hug someone, think of all the poop you are just inches away from."

"I'm one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow."

"How do Germans tie their shoes? In little nazis"

"How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer."

"What do you call a constipated German? Farfrompoopin."

"I used to assume most people were bright, kind, and at least somewhat informed. Then social media was invented."

"Taking vocabulary to a whole new thingy"

"Someone just told me ignorance and apathy are the world's two biggest problems I didn't know that, but I don't really care."

"Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus."