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Joke of the Day

"Never Forget Girl: Can you finger me? Boy: Sure. Girl: Oh yeah that feels good. --------- 1 Day Later ----------- Girl: I'm pregnant. Boy: Dammit I forgot to wash my hands."

"If I could pick one famous person, living or dead, to spend a day with, I'd pick Kim Kardashian,,and choose dead."

"I'm trying to bring a taco into this club...let's see if the bouncer finds it when he frisks me"

"I'm so glad none of my friends are gay Because they're safe"

"Starbucks bathrooms are EXCLUSIVELY for terrible diarrhea, right?"

"My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell ""ARF, ARF"" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth"

"Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly? Because their p is quiet."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. That's it. That's the joke."

"Fun to hear newscasters, while their chopper hovers over an active crime scene, scold people ""the last thing the police need is spectators"""

"Perfect pickup line No, baby, those aren't warts, I'm just ribbed for your pleasure."