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Joke of the Day

"Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she's probably thick and tired of it!"

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I only fly the drone"

"What do you call a musician's best friend? A drummer..."

"Q: If everyone in America started driving pink cadillacs, what would you have? A: A pink car nation."

"*i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* ""Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.."" *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*"

"Does anyone know how to change the batteries in a dead kitten? Please help."

"When I had no money, I had few friends, but no enemies Btw, I still have no money, in case you were thinking of becoming my friend or enemy"

"SON: The car's manual suggests not to turn the stereo up all the way. DAD: Guess you could say- SON: NO DON'T- DAD: -that's sound advice."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not 3, because my basement is still dark."

"How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh? ten tickles"