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Joke of the Day

"I'm starting a combination Frozen Yogurt shop and news stand.. It will be called Froyo Information."

"Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep."

"What do you call painful constipation? Excretiating pain"

"how do you start a rave in africa glue a piece of bread to the roof"

"""Remember those funny tweets about Keith? And, the Chad jokes? Haha! They were great! We should do those again. Right, guys? Guys?"" - Karen"

"The dogs bark but the caravan moves on."

"I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel."

"If a mime performs in the forest, and nobody is there to see him, it's all for the best."

"i bet cough drops were invented before candy, because if they were invented after then they'd be called candy."

"Be careful when you're watching a movie with your wife. You're gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does."